The Weekly Update (Whether I Need One or Not)

As my readers may know, I play with LEGO. Part of the fun of LEGO is creating something, coming up with an acronym name for it (or vice versa), and then trying to fill in the letters.

I'm currently working on a mech, and made some bitchin' cannons. Now the hard part: coming up with words for the acronyms. I've got two:
1)FROOM Static Cannon - Forced Reamplification of Orthotically Oscillating Masers
2)QBERT - Quantum Bombardment through Energized Resonant Tachyons

I hope to have better words than maser and tachyon, since they exist. Made-up non-sense that you build your own science for is best. Time will tell.

Oh! Mr Belpit

I'm tired and hungry. When I get home I shall have some leftover pizza (Papa Romano's deep dish Sicilian) and a Special K bar, then go to bed.

A fun time shall be had by all.

Because the Truth Is Out There!!!

http://www.stopabductions.com/

This apparatus should be required for everybody on this planet. You know why...

I Am Not an Anti-dentite!

I had a dentist appointment today. While there I learned two things: 1) My head is too big for the panoramic X-ray machine; and 2) My dentist is starting to look old.

Oh yes, I also learned that my dental hygienist only goes through the motions of flossing. What a pathetic job she did. Tsk tsk.

Nicknames

So far I have come up with four nicknames: Tantrum Tot, Monkeybutt, Dumptruck, and Mr Groper. The first two are reprehensible neighbors; the last two coworkers of my wife.

Mr Groper is a lady, and so is Dumptruck. If you mention the name "Mr Groper", my wife will laugh until she weeps. If you mention "Tubgirl" at the same time, my wife will laugh until no sound comes out.

I do it at every opportunity.

Part 1 of 3

20 Nov 2006

1:08 AM

A BOND-TASTIC EXPERIENCE IS HAD BY ALL

(Except, maybe, Jimmy's nuts...)

There are few things quite like going to see a movie in the theater. Huge screen, huge sound, huge crowds. Well, the last part is rubbish. I hate crowds at a theater. It means you might actually have to sit next to someone and fight for the armrest.

Of course, the worst part is walking into an empty theater¹, only to have the other people walk in right before the movie starts and sit down right next to you. WHY?!? There is an entirely empty theater (except for me and my honey) for them to occupy, so why sit next to/in front of/behind us? Have I suddenly become the best judge of where to sit in a theater merely because I sat down first? Apparently...²

So anyway, Mrs St3nz and I brave the cold and wet and crowds and go see Casino Royale. Lovely film. Brilliant! Best bond for quite a while. Lots of good fisticuffs. I'm a sucker for a good fight scene. There are three good Bond fight scenes: one inCasino Royale, one in GoldenEye, and one in From Russia With Love. The kind of bare-knuckle drag down that really makes you feel Bond isn't going soft. The kind of fight which is the exact opposite of a fight between Capt Kirk and the baddie of the week.⁴

Did I mention we parked in a space "reserved" for expectant mothers or those with small children? (Evil!)

So we saw the movie and really liked it. And then we went home and had the best roast chicken in the world: Mrs St3nz's.

So that's it for my first ever blog entry! Thrilling, innit? Oh, one more thing before I go. I have a great joke for you:

Rat. Snowflake. Train.

Trust me, it's a good one. Feel free to use it for your next speech. Tschuss!

1. Have you ever had the priviledge of sitting in an empty theater? If I haven't, I've come close. Maybe 5 people, tops.

2. I once went to a classical music recital when I was in high school and had about 3 seats on either side of me empty. I kid you not, a guy sat down right next to me. RIGHT NEXT TO ME! And then proceded to lean over towards me. Why me?! What did I do to desrve that?!³ I have a feeling that if I moved over a seat, he'd have moved too. Pope-certified creepy, man.

3. On a similar note, Mrs St3nz attracts the mentally handicapped like flowers attract bees. That's Pope-certified creepy, too.

4. Seriously, we just watched the episode where Kirk et al. come across Khan and the Botany Bay. The climactic fight scene between Kirk and Khan? Fake. So fake. They didn't even bother getting a stuntman who looked like Kirk. Looked more like the lovechild between Chekov and Bones.

Part 2 of 3

20 Nov 2006
9:15 PM

WHO WILL WIN? NO ONE KNOWS!

I'm going to continue to obsess about Bond for a little while more. Why? 'Cause I can.

So I've been thinking1 about Bond as played by Daniel Craig. He's definitely a tough character. Girls melt looking at him, and men can appreciate his looks in a non-gay way (which is saying a lot for men). He's built like a brick house. Honestly, all we needed was a shot of him moving his pecs up and down like he would waggle his ginormous ears.

He is, by far, the best fit to the written Bond of any actors who have played Bond. Those eyes! Those piercing, blue, cold eyes. Is it any wonder Bond has stuck with MI-6 for all these cases and thru all those dead friends/lovers? He has no soul!2

Having said that, I have to wonder: who would win in a fight between James Bond and Jason Bourne? These two are arguably the best known secret agents/assassins in the world today. I credit The Bourne Identity for reviving a lagging spy movie industry, and also for allowing/forcing Bond to move in the direction it does. So who would win in a fight? Let's explore.

James Bond	Jason Bourne
License to Kill	Knows everything
Fast, tough, strong, takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'	Never got his ass handed to him
Support of entire British government	Doesn't exist
Crack shot	Excellent weapons and hand-combat skills

They actually seem rather evenly matched. But I'm betting that since Bourne has never been on the losing end of a fight (that we know of), he won't know what his limits are. Bond knows. He's had his nuts thwacked with knotted rope. Bourne? Pretty boy never broke a sweat. Not even when fighting the other Treadstone agent in his Paris apartment. Also, Bourne has never killed someone when he didn't need to kill them. Bond, on the other hand, does have a license to kill, and I am sure he uses it liberally. See, Bond knows never to leave an enemy in a position from which they could get you, so he kills them.³ Bourne, on the other hand, is going to get it one day. If they can find him again.

Conclusion?

Bond > Bourne

1. Unlike Lincoln, who's been drinking.
2. And no bubbles for his bath. Not a one.
3. I know, I know, but it's only the movies.